me

Everyone knows me as a sweet caring creature always ready to help others...my friends call me understanding, nice, cute, sweet,fun-loving, caring but you would be hard put to find someone who can look beyond the good girl facade..and sense the turbulence within




there are such dark depths lurking within me...meanness and bitchiness...greed and jealousy...passion and desires...hatred and sarcasm...all make one big uncontrollable torrend...

people who have known me all there lives would be shocked if they ever sensed what i have been hiding within...


but now i am bored of playing the good girl who is always there for everyone, who does all the right things...who is all mush

bah!!

me and mush...i hate nothing more than being treated as a kid all the time being pampered and flirted with and for exactly that reason i let people do it b'coz i hate it coz nothing turns me on more than hatred...

i let people think i don't see through all the big dramas of care they put up...and let them think they are making a fool of me...do i even care

they think i am dumb and an innocent babe just say a few sweet things and a couple of hugs and she'll be all there for you...


there is a madness in me...behind that cool formal exterior and sweet smile the monster keeps prancing about...its like another creature lives inside of me someone who is upto no good


i am who i am


with all my sins its the bare me


i am jealous of my best friend for her happiness

have detailed imaginations about killing people about hurting them till they would scream with pain beg to be released...aaah what sweet music to my ears it would be see them bowing before me and slithering on the floor like little insects dependent on my mercy


there none of them would be able to laugh at me behind there backs...make fun of my 'innocence' thinking they are too smart making a fool out of me without my even suspecting it

if i unleashed this power that is rearing to go within me none of them would be able to take advantage of me and my feelings laugh at the way i care about them and on what an idiot i am...guffaw at my stupidity of giving them the power to make me do anything hey want me to


i could make it all stop all the hurt and the pain and the frauds they put me through...

but then that woud take away all thats interesting in my life...all those chances to observe the different ways people find of hurting you all the games they play the different ways they try to defraud you...there would be no experiments left to conduct...naah i don't want to give up all that and have a life so boring...so i have learned to enjoy all the hurt and pain and now i am addicted...i go looking for new ways to get it...